One of those days…

Today I am having one of those days; 

I feel myself tearing up every now and then for no reason at all or for every reason… I’m just not sure. It’s definitely frustrating and confusing because I feel alright… But I am getting emotional without obvious cause.

I know I’m exhausted. I’m tired of crap. I’m stressed. I’m frustrated. I have a lot of things to do and they’re just piling up. But I’m not sure if these are the reason why I’m feeling the way that I’m feeling. I might have an Iron Deficiency at the moment and that could be the cause of my lack of energy and constant tiredness.

I also don’t want to do too much to the point that I run myself into the ground… But then when I think about that I start to worry and there are a lot of things that I worry about when I do start to worry.

I have gone through a lot and continue to go through it but I have a better attitude and more of a positive outlook than I did before when I did struggle in the past. 

This morning after dropping the kids off at school and nursery, I had a burst of motivation and I had a choice of going to the allotment and getting stuff done there or going home and getting stuff done there. I chose to go home because yesterday I had made a decent dent in the workload of the kitchen and I wanted to finish it. 

When I got home though I got teary and I sat down collected my thoughts, took a breath and decided to get on with my blogging. I find it hard to keep up with it when I have so much to do anyway. I haven’t gotten around to doing any stuff done at home as blogging takes quite a bit of time but at least it is keeping me somewhat balanced at this moment in time.

I am trying not to get sucked into my own problems and issues and trying to keep my head up and focused on myself and the kids and our future… I don’t want to be pulled/dragged back down to that lonely, pitiful, sad state that I have been in before.

It’s like I’m trying to keep my head above water, I’m keeping calm even though I feel I am on the verge of panicking and I can feel something below me trying to pull me under… That’s how I can describe it right now.

I know I will feel better. I know I wont feel this way forever. I know I am strong enough to break free of the hold, push my self through and up out of the water and on the boat that I will create for myself and be able to sail towards where I aim to be.

Okay this post is a bit all over the place and may not make sense but if it helps me then it helps me. If I wan to light up the darkness that is trying to surround me then I need to admit how I feel and face what needs to be faced and continue to do what I need to do.  

My brain is shutting down a little at the moment! I’m feeling so tired.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

x Emz x

 

Author: Emz

I'm a 28, ambitious full time mum of two amazing and funny children. I try to live a happy simple life but of course there can be drama even if do try to avoid it. A lot does go on with Family and friends and I try to blog as often as I can because this is a good way for me to write what I'm thinking, feeling and helps me remember things that go on and writing it down on a piece of paper doesn't do myself any justice I need to be honest with myself and if blogging is the way forward for me then so bit it. If you happen to come across my blog and actually like and follow it thank you very much. :D I have had to make strong and hard decisions in my life and I have come out stronger and wiser every time. I'm shy, opinionated and can be socially awkward at times but I am trying to build up my confidence and I just want to share with you my life story if you are willing to listen and I am only too happy to do the same for anyone else who wants me to know :) I try to be as honest, open and kind as I can in life. - My aim is to Blog every day whether I am able to keep up with that well we shall see :)

5 thoughts on “One of those days…”

    1. It’s only been today that I feel like this (teary every now and then – the rest of the day getting on my nerves didn’t help apart from one or two things that brightened my mood. Thanks for the concern though 🙂 I might look into seeing a councillor of sorts to at least talk about things with. 🙂 x

      Like

      1. It sounds like you are on mind and body overload. Stress and lack of sleep are more detrimental than people think. Talking to someone would be a good idea! Mom’s often have issues with taking time and space for ourselves, but we need it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah you are right! If I feel the same way tomorrow I’ll sort something out through my GP and if I do feel better tomorrow I’ll try not to do so much at once and take a break to recharge my batteries so to speak! Thank you 🙂 x

        Liked by 1 person

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