(long ranting post) I told myself I wouldn’t go on about certain people…

… But it’s just so hard not to talk about it when they make it so baffling and reactable?… Reactive?…  I dunno but as I was saying, I have been trying to word all the things I need to post and up my motivation for it but today or earlier even needs to be aired because I am sure I am not the only one to find this shocking and just rude…

Lets start with the prelude; December 2016 I was looking for a new sofa and carpet for my flat due to the flood I had a couple of months before hand which left my place inhabitable for a few months and when I was able to go back into my flat all the furniture had grown it’s own fur (mould) !! Needless to say I had to throw my sofa, armchair, carpet and rugs out…

After days of looking for the right sofa and carpet I finally found some I just needed to figure out how to pay for it and decide on the colours… I managed to get a good deal for buying a combo (carpet and sofa together) and an advance new year sale deal and was banking on a finance or type of pay plan. Unfortunately my credit check wasn’t successful and I was rejected for a finance plan.

I had remembered my sister telling me often that her credit score was really high, so I asked her the next day if she could sign the finance plan in her name which she agreed but then she also got rejected. I was definitely disappointed but I just told myself I could just save up for it and buy it later. But my sister told me she would pay for it in full. (She had money saved from compensation) I was surprised and very grateful for the offer  and I told her I would pay it all back to her of course. She joked about writing up a contract to make sure that I would pay it back… At least I thought it was a joke.

The next day we turned up to sign the papers and my sister pulled out 2 copies of this contract she had written up to do with the sofa and carpet… I have misplaced it since then so I couldn’t tell you what it said word for word but it said something like; I am to pay her £85 every 12th of every month until the debt has been cleared and any extra or spare cash I have is to be given to her and if I miss a payment or any of the furniture has been damaged then she will repossess it blah blah – I wasn’t amused…

I told her she will not be repossessing anything and that ‘if’ I have the spare cash which is unlikely but the £85 a month would have been the same finance plan I would have had if I hadn’t been rejected when I had my credit check so that would be okay. We verbally agreed that I would pay her cash so she will have to come to me to pick up the money and that way we can spend some time together otherwise if it was just a bank transfer we would  hardly see each other. We both signed both copies and she even got the staff member who signed my papers with me to sign her contracts as a witness…

Moving on to today it has been a whole year of paying her back and still have another year to go to clear it all…  January, February, March and April 2017 I paid the correct amount on the correct dates but then it was my sisters birthday on the 9th of May and I hadn’t any money to get her anything and she had told me a few weeks earlier that the money I owe her wont be accepted as a present… To be fair… It’s a lot of money £85 especially when you have 2 young children and loads of bills to pay as well as keeping the food we eat topped up so we don’t go hungry…

But it was either money I owe her or something for her birthday and she wouldn’t be happy at all if I hadn’t got her anything and she normally asks me to bake her a cake and since I didn’t know what to get and couldn’t afford motorbike bits I decided to experiment and bake her a cake. Of course that costs money to get all the ingredients and so I told her I would pay her on the 13th instead of the 12th that month due to being paid on the 13th.

The following month June she didn’t bother to call me and missed the day and turned up on the 13th saying she forgot etc but then the next months July, August and September she would only turn up late in the evening to take the money and then leave 30 minutes later and not actually spend the day with me and just made me feel like the only reason she saw me was to get the money. I told her then that if she doesn’t stick to the original plan then why should I? We had a few arguments over those months and every time she would throw the money thing in my face like; “I wish I never helped you out.”, “You’re lucky I’m so awesome that I bought you your stuff.”, “Have you trashed your sofa and carpet yet?” “You don’t appreciate what I have done for you.” blah blah.

Then we have October I needed £5 from the £85 as we needed electric and I asked if that was okay to just give her the £80 that day and add it towards the next months payment. She agreed and then November came and I needed to get food shopping as I didn’t have any money left after bills So I asked if that was okay and I gave her £75 and told her i would pay her £100 the following month… December came and I just had both my kids birthdays and I also had Christmas coming up along with everything else I had to pay but I still made sure I had the £100 for her… She didn’t call, she didn’t turn up and then she called me 5 days later telling me she hadn’t realised the 12th had gone past already and she would be round pick up the money the next day….

Safe to say I wasn’t thrilled about this and I remembered our conversation about if she doesn’t turn up herself or spend more than half hour with me then I wont be paying for that month… But I turned round and said okay regretting it but then told her I will give her a little extra next time (due to needed it now since 5 days had passed) she said she will pick it up as a double payment in January…. (Not okay with that)

Now It is January and I have not  seen or spoken to my sister at all this year but I had put aside £85 the usual in an envelope ready for her and with a speech about how she didn’t turn up for the last one and only got in contact 5 days later voiding the contract in a bigger way than I ever have if the contract is even a proper thing because as she has said before an a few times that the contract was only written up as a joke but my sister has a weird sense of humour at times…

I was hoping she would forget again because since Christmas and all those bank holidays I have kind of gotten into arrears with my bills… Specifically Water and Rent and started getting notices… Been awhile since that has happened But she did give me a text and at lunchtime surprisingly… She normally wakes up in the afternoon. I was a bit preoccupied with the little one and sorting our lunch out by the time I sat down I noticed my sister had spammed me a bit asking when do I wasn’t her to come round and pick up the money and how much will I be giving her the double or will I be adding an extra month on the end of this long sentence…

I texted her back at 1 ish and well here’s the whole conversation;

Sister: “Yo what time do you want me round today plus not sure if you’re paying back from last time or just making that an extra month? x” 12:31pm

Sister: “I hate texting I’m sure you know what I mean haha x” 12:31pm

Sister: “Emmmmmmmz x” 1:01pm

(It’s only been half hour no need to draw my name out! and I don’t want her in my place after her disrespectful behaviour the last few times she has been at mine)

Me: “I can meet you at the park in town at 3:30pm x” 1:08pm

Sister: “Cool see you there x” 1:08pm 

(She has never replied to any of my messages so quickly before…)

Sister: “Will be late as usual x” 3:11pm

(Okaaaay…. Even though she should be nearly here at this time)

Me: “How late? x” 3:15pm

(I am at the park with both my kids, It’s getting darker and It’s getting colder…)

Sister: “Well leaving now will be 20 mins will park right outside park to save time x” 3:29pm

(Is she serious?! She should be here by now! Not leaving hers at this time…. I know she is always late to things and her excuse is always “well that’s just what I’m like you know me” and people just take that and expect it and just let her carry on being late it’s like her trademark of sorts and I can’t stand it and I am always telling her to change her habits and ways or at least try and do better but this is ridiculous and I refuse to always wait around and I wont)

Me: “Okay 20 minutes not a minute later x” 15:30pm

(I’m not sticking around in the park freezing me and the kids socks off!)

Sister: “That’s hard considering bike will not staaart Ahh x” 3:46pm

(Of course… I am normally too nice and accommodating and get no respect or appreciation from it and I’m just not feeling like a door mat today. Thank you!)

Me: “Well that’s unfortunate should have made sure it was fine before you set off hours ago ah well next time then x” 3:48pm

(Take that how ever way you want but I have things to do, a life to live and children to raise and standing in the park freezing my arse off is not something I need or should be doing just to please someone who couldn’t be bothered to actually get ready earlier and come see me at the time she was supposed to… I get she couldn’t help her bike from not turning on but she has a new car now that she could drive or even get on a bus? A lift from her many driver friends? I dunno but I’m not gonna bend over backwards and take it anymore. I will give her the money when we next see each other when ever that will be but she is still not welcome in my place)

Sister: “I’ll meet you at yours instead if your going home soon, and bikes don’t work like that their temperamental plus she’s only just had s rebuild so x” 3:55pm

Sister: “What do you mean next time? (laughing crying face)” 3:55pm

(Really? I don’t want you at mine but I don’t know how to say it without sounding mean and I’m rather fed up of seeing those faces… She sends them with near enough every message she sends me just surprised she didn’t send them in everyone of her messages today!)

Me: “Well 3:30 was the time I told you I could meet and that’s that I waited so next time be here on time that’s all and good luck with the dodgy bike x” 3:56pm

(Well It’s true really isn’t it? Maybe she has just ground my gears too much in the past year more so the last few months and This is me switching off my give a crap understanding BS I have wasted on the wrong people I dunno but yeah.)

Sister: “You know I’m bad with times and I still have to see you regardless x” 3:57pm

(Why? If that’s because it’s the 12th and you feel you are bound even though I am saying no for today now due to her not being able to turn up on time and now I have things to do… Don’t be so sad….)

Sister: “So I’ll See you at yours then x” 4:04pm

(Are you serious? Have you not read my texts properly? I said next time… I said that’s that… Do I really have to say first off, I don’t feel comfortable and my kids don’t feel ready to have you back in our home again… second I have things to do, I never said I will be at home hence another reason we were to meet in the park…  And yet again I know you are bad with times but that’s not a good enough reason when you leave me and the kids in the park waiting for you while it gets cold and dark…. Clearly if you are going to be this clueless and annoying it’s best if we just leave it for today…)

Me: “Well I’m not gonna stand for lateness anymore as that’s something you need to sort out and I was only available  for the time I gave and now I have things to do, what is it you need to see me about that’s so urgent anyway? x” 4:06pm

(I’m being nicer than I should I’m on the phone now to my friend and then my sister starts to spam me)

Sister: “It’s not my fault it’s the 12th Emma x” 4:15pm

(It’s not you fault it’s the 12th? So what, it’s the 12th? You have taken it on the 13th before? Why so pesty?)

Sister: “I swear it would be easier to do bank debits it would be easier if your too busy? x” 4:16pm

(I was ready with your money at 3:30pm like we agreed to and you didn’t turn up because you are late and you still wont be able to spend the day with me as it is no after school I have things to do and kids to sort out so… At this point I am struggling to respond because it’s like… What do you say to someone like that?)

Sister: “Plus lateness I have to deal with all the time it runs away from me so guess I’ll Just pick up and go if you have no time? x 4:17pm

(It’s always like that…. And you say I void the contracts? I’m not home, I’m not going to be home, you had your chance now wait til another day which you can easily tell me would be good to see you next where you will leave time for us? But wow…. All about the money to you… The whole reason it’s cash is so we can see each other and at this point you have become a pest and spamming me with texts when I have said leave it for another day (I know she has loads of money still saved so it’s not like she is in desperate need like I am at times)

Me: “Wow that’s the reason… That’s just so wrong. I am speechless… You didn’t understand my texts… You were supposed to meet at the time we agreed on and you didn’t… End of.” 4:39pm

(It took me some time to think of what to say… and I don’t care anymore about how I come across to her because I am treated like crap and disrespected often and so are my children by her and others who are so called “family” and all I can say is ah well deal with it, face the repercussions and consequences like I have to every day… I’m in a who gives a crap kind of mood this has been a lesson learned… I have no more to say to her… what is there to say? and so she continues to spam…)

Sister: “I couldn’t make it cuz the bike wouldn’t start. Why are you speechless you know I have to pick that up on the 12th you didn’t bother last month and only paid a certain amount the month before and I’m not being nasty am I? I need the money today Emma. I have bills to pay and I still not feeling any appreciation towards this. It was a lot of money to just hand over. Your getting assy about time but you still have to pay. End of. When can I pick it up from you?” 4:53pm

(Woah woah woah…. I understand the bike didn’t start you couldn’t have known sure… But you were getting ready to leave yours at the time you should have been at the park right? That’s one thing that has annoyed me and made me assy sure. I am speechless because you don’t seem to understand what I have been saying which is I have to go and do what I need to do now let’s do it another time when your bike is working and me and the kids aren’t freezing our arses off in the cold dark park to which we have been unfortunately stood up at to know fault of you of course because of your bike sure… What was that? I “couldn’t be bothered to pay last month”? I had the money you hadn’t bothered calling, messaging or even turning up to pick it up and only got in contact 5 days later….. Check yourself! I still had the money but I also needed some money for Christmas presents and food and you told me to pay next time…. Seriously?! That doubled not tripled my assiness now I tell ya! Ohhh You have bills to pay huh? Me too with two kids that Istruggle to cater for and not once have you said you understand that I might be struggling with such a large amount of money to give you evey month and maybe it’s best if we lower it so I can keep paying you and still being able to afford such things as nappies, electric, food, and keeping a roof over mine and my kids heads too…. And then you go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like…. You’re not feeling any appreciation from it all? Well join the club sister! I have never felt appreciated from you or our family and I am so done with it all… Nothing but toxic and the more I cut off when they show their true nasty colours the more free I feel…. And of course I am the nasty one as you tell me often when you don’t like me standing up for myself well I have news for you If I am coming across as nasty it just shows what you all bring out in me when you push me to my edge and make me feel the way I do and If you want to be like them then go ahead at least I know now which sides you are now staying on with your two faced attitude, two faced family in your warped two faced life! Rant in a half I know but all in my head of course.)

Sister: “And I’m At mum’s now so can walk over I can’t believe you start like this just cuz my bike wouldn’t start” 4:54pm

(Oh so your bike works now does it? Why didn’t you show up at the park like you said you would be parking up at? Hmm not quite making sense are you? -My mum lives round the corner form me but I am not home and what the hell? Really? Keep the comments coming it really encourages me to respond… And no little sister it is not because your bike wouldn’t start it’s a lot of things and I dunno why I’m still surprised that you don’t see the way you have been or are being or the things you are saying and my gosh your such a troll…. She knows how to wind me up and she just keeps the spamming texts coming…)

Sister: “So yeah will pick up now where are you?” 4:57pm

(Don’t be daft – I have nothing more to say to you and yes I will pay you back but if it’s going to be by direct debit or what ever and we wont see each other again fine… I will be paying what I can when I can contract completely voided, done and dusted.)

Sister: “Emmmmmmmmmz you do have it right?” 5:01pm

(Really?! You insult me so.)

<Sister Tries Calling While I Am Already On The Phone> 5:03pm

(She could have called me earlier today but never bothered just kept it all to text even though she says she doesn’t like texting…. What’s that about?)

Sister: “We need to set up standing order. Easier this way I can avoid this kind of situation that your causing because you wont wait for your sister and I feel like your refusing to pay which you know is wrong if this is the case. I hope this isn’t what is happening cuz right now I can’t get hold of you and that’s what it feels like. This makes me feel bad and what you say to alienates me.” 5:14pm

(Now this is interesting… Using words like alienates is not a word I thought she knew and I may be wrong but not sure she knows what that means but have you read what you have been saying? I am not being mean but someone has put that word in her mind for her to say that to me… I haven’t said anything for nearly an hour… And you continue?Do you not know me at all? I promised I would pay you it all back and I will but you don’t make me feel good about it and quite frankly I think I have been very accommodating in terms of how much I had been paying even though I have struggled… Clearly was a bad idea from the start to allow you to p#cover the cost and me pay you back I had no idea you would turn like this and make me turn with you and against you even… Am I being nasty? Unreasonable? Maybe in some parts and I don’t realise it yet but you haven’t exactly helped me out of the kindness of your heart now have you? It came with thick ugly noticeable strings and you continuously hanging it over my head telling me every time I see you about how you got me them and commenting on some crumbs or fluff or a slight stain but I do have young children and I have tried my hardest to keep it all clean…. Maybe not tidy but clean!)

Sister: “Well will be back in town let me know when I can pick it up which I need for tomorrow” 5:23pm

(Thought you said you needed it today? What happened to all that money you go on about? Why are you still hounding me? If you want me to send you it via bank sen me your details… Baffling.)

Sister: “Emma” 7:17pm

(What?! What do you want? The money? I get that just leave me and my kids be and stop hounding our nan treated her badly when she stayed in her place and cost my sister a lot of money in utilities and kept her place disgusting and even though she writ up a contract she didn’t get her to sign it and let her get away with costing her a fortune and my sister ended up paying for it… What?! And even her friend who stayed with her did the same and even stole her consoles when he left and he still got away with it?! Yet I am her sister she should know me and yet she thinks so little of me? I have had enough.)

Family?

I have been paying her for a whole year and I have another year to go but apparently I am so unreliable even though she knows where to collect the money and I gave her the times and yet she still doesn’t turn up and yet I am still the bad guy here….. I have ranted and raved and let it all out and I thank you for reading and hopefully some thoughts? Am I the crazy one here? Either way If I am It’s because I have been driven to it plus It seems to be a family trait.

Goodnight all 🙂

x Emz x

Author: Emz

I'm a 28, ambitious full time mum of two amazing and funny children. I try to live a happy simple life but of course there can be drama even if do try to avoid it. A lot does go on with Family and friends and I try to blog as often as I can because this is a good way for me to write what I'm thinking, feeling and helps me remember things that go on and writing it down on a piece of paper doesn't do myself any justice I need to be honest with myself and if blogging is the way forward for me then so bit it. If you happen to come across my blog and actually like and follow it thank you very much. :D I have had to make strong and hard decisions in my life and I have come out stronger and wiser every time. I'm shy, opinionated and can be socially awkward at times but I am trying to build up my confidence and I just want to share with you my life story if you are willing to listen and I am only too happy to do the same for anyone else who wants me to know :) I try to be as honest, open and kind as I can in life. - My aim is to Blog every day whether I am able to keep up with that well we shall see :)

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